Self-care is a word that gets thrown around a lot these days. Society has a way of commercialising even the simplest of things. So much so that we are often put off by stuff because of the way society paints them.
I would be lying if I said that I haven't been part of that opinion in the past. Afraid that I would too be coerced onto the consumer bandwagon.
Self-care is actions one takes to develop, maintain, or improve wellness. It is a necessary tool for emotional, physical, mental health.
Self-care is a journey. It has definitely been a journey for me. It is so easy to stick with what is familiar, even if its damaging to us. Readjusting your thought process that you have been subconsciously perfecting for years is a process. I can only ever, and will only ever speak from my own experiences. For me, it has been the most enlightening and rejuvenating experience. I know that it's especially hard when you suffer from mental health issues because it's so hard to motivate yourself when you just feel like doing nothing. But, I guess if you're reading this then its already something that's crossed your mind, and that's the first step.
Self-care seems to be something that crosses our minds and manifests when we are hurt, stressed, or exceptionally down about something; a time when we feel we particularly need some TLC. And this is great... but it doesn't last. As my friend Rachael aptly put it, "it's a shock when reality hits you, and you realise you're a mess on legs."
Self-care is a way of living. Something to incorporate into our everyday lives. Microscopic moments of self-love every. single. day.
Essentially it's about how someone looks after themselves, methods to manage your thoughts, safe coping mechanisms, and to promote positivity in your life. How this transpires differs from person to person. It's about listening to yourself; how am I feeling today? What do I need?
"Self-care has become a buzz word. It is something that brands use to push products and newspapers use for clicks. The concept of self-care as a whole has been commercialised with the agenda of the public having to spend money. Other times self-care will be packaged up as an event or a movement, and whilst some of these are absolutely authentic, some of them are not. So it's easy to get lost in the self-care hype and lose sight of the real, important meaning."
- Grace Victory
For many, there are 2 changes to incorporate and focus on in your everyday life to actively care for yourself.
Recognise Negative Self Talk & Behaviours
Sometimes, the way we treat ourselves is truly awful. We would never talk to other people the way we talk to ourselves. Self-deprecation is familiar, which often means it goes unnoticed. We beat ourselves up for the most menial of things. Therefore it is important to re-learn the language we use to talk about ourselves. Let's give ourselves a break! Hell, we deserve one! One of my favourite quotes is from Roald Dahl, saying... “If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. But if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” Rationalising your harmful thoughts and actions are key. Think to yourself, is that really a realistic thought? The biggest step to being your own best-friend is to stop being your own worst enemy.
Appreciate & Celebrate Your Victories
This is just not done enough. We don't need validation from anyone or anything else. We are our own cheerleaders. Self-care is a journey, and every day you are fighting and winning little battles. And those victories deserve to be recognised. Sometimes even just managing to wake up on time is a task! So if today you acknowledged a harmful thought, and replaced it with something kinder, congratulate yourself. You are freaking awesome! be proud of yourself.
Some days will be harder than others. That's normal. Life naturally has peaks and troughs. Even if you fall, you can get back up and try again. It's about adapting and building your barrier so that when those hits do come, you're better equipped for whatever is thrown at you. My friend Liv said you have to "look within yourself to find the courage to then give something that will have a lasting input." Another friend, Jenny, also told me that she has an A-Z of things that make her happy - a sort of prep for when she's sad. I think that's a wonderful idea and a great starting point. But until then, there are little ways that you can begin to promote and incorporate self-care into your daily routine.
Ways To Self-Care
Being honest with yourself - This is sometimes challenging, but we often try and bury our heads in the sand, which negatively manifests. Acknowledge the truth, accept it, and you will be able to heal.
Eat for you - There is far too much of a stigma around food. Nothing will make you feel worse than punishing yourself for restricting different things. It is your body, so care for it however you want.
Unfollowing/unfriending toxic people in your life - This is one of the biggest changes you can make. By keeping this negativity in your life you are only harming yourself further. It doesn't have to be a huge unfollowing spree. Maybe just remove one person/thing from social media a day?
Enjoying your own company - Damn girl! Look how great you are! Who wouldn't want to be friends with you? So you should be too. Of course, being with your friends is great, but so is solace.
Pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone - Nothing feels more rewarding that overcoming something. Remember it's those small victories every day.
Nourishing your skin - Our skin is our biggest organ and our armour against the world. Nothing feels better than giving it a little bit of TLC with an exfoliator and body lotion.
Love your space - Create a space for you that feels safe and calming; a haven for you and your thoughts.
Treating yo'self - You deserve it! It can be as little or as big as you like, but you deserve to feel special, and it's okay to do that for yourself.
Manage your social media time - It is so easy to just endlessly scroll, and that can be incredibly unhealthy in so many ways. I love twitter just as much as the next gal but when it becomes aimless, there are far better uses of your time. It's all about how you use it.
Go outside - In the words of my Grandma, "fresh air does the world of good". And my Grandma is always right.
I hope these little tips and tricks will come in useful and set you in good stead for your own journey of self-care. On my Instagram, I post daily reminders of positivity and love if you want to check that out. Until next time, love yourself.
♥
Self-care seems to be something that crosses our minds and manifests when we are hurt, stressed, or exceptionally down about something; a time when we feel we particularly need some TLC. And this is great... but it doesn't last. As my friend Rachael aptly put it, "it's a shock when reality hits you, and you realise you're a mess on legs."
Self-care is a way of living. Something to incorporate into our everyday lives. Microscopic moments of self-love every. single. day.
Essentially it's about how someone looks after themselves, methods to manage your thoughts, safe coping mechanisms, and to promote positivity in your life. How this transpires differs from person to person. It's about listening to yourself; how am I feeling today? What do I need?
"Self-care has become a buzz word. It is something that brands use to push products and newspapers use for clicks. The concept of self-care as a whole has been commercialised with the agenda of the public having to spend money. Other times self-care will be packaged up as an event or a movement, and whilst some of these are absolutely authentic, some of them are not. So it's easy to get lost in the self-care hype and lose sight of the real, important meaning."
- Grace Victory
For many, there are 2 changes to incorporate and focus on in your everyday life to actively care for yourself.
Recognise Negative Self Talk & Behaviours
Sometimes, the way we treat ourselves is truly awful. We would never talk to other people the way we talk to ourselves. Self-deprecation is familiar, which often means it goes unnoticed. We beat ourselves up for the most menial of things. Therefore it is important to re-learn the language we use to talk about ourselves. Let's give ourselves a break! Hell, we deserve one! One of my favourite quotes is from Roald Dahl, saying... “If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. But if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” Rationalising your harmful thoughts and actions are key. Think to yourself, is that really a realistic thought? The biggest step to being your own best-friend is to stop being your own worst enemy.
Appreciate & Celebrate Your Victories
This is just not done enough. We don't need validation from anyone or anything else. We are our own cheerleaders. Self-care is a journey, and every day you are fighting and winning little battles. And those victories deserve to be recognised. Sometimes even just managing to wake up on time is a task! So if today you acknowledged a harmful thought, and replaced it with something kinder, congratulate yourself. You are freaking awesome! be proud of yourself.
Some days will be harder than others. That's normal. Life naturally has peaks and troughs. Even if you fall, you can get back up and try again. It's about adapting and building your barrier so that when those hits do come, you're better equipped for whatever is thrown at you. My friend Liv said you have to "look within yourself to find the courage to then give something that will have a lasting input." Another friend, Jenny, also told me that she has an A-Z of things that make her happy - a sort of prep for when she's sad. I think that's a wonderful idea and a great starting point. But until then, there are little ways that you can begin to promote and incorporate self-care into your daily routine.
Ways To Self-Care
Being honest with yourself - This is sometimes challenging, but we often try and bury our heads in the sand, which negatively manifests. Acknowledge the truth, accept it, and you will be able to heal.
Eat for you - There is far too much of a stigma around food. Nothing will make you feel worse than punishing yourself for restricting different things. It is your body, so care for it however you want.
Unfollowing/unfriending toxic people in your life - This is one of the biggest changes you can make. By keeping this negativity in your life you are only harming yourself further. It doesn't have to be a huge unfollowing spree. Maybe just remove one person/thing from social media a day?
Enjoying your own company - Damn girl! Look how great you are! Who wouldn't want to be friends with you? So you should be too. Of course, being with your friends is great, but so is solace.
Pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone - Nothing feels more rewarding that overcoming something. Remember it's those small victories every day.
Nourishing your skin - Our skin is our biggest organ and our armour against the world. Nothing feels better than giving it a little bit of TLC with an exfoliator and body lotion.
Love your space - Create a space for you that feels safe and calming; a haven for you and your thoughts.
Treating yo'self - You deserve it! It can be as little or as big as you like, but you deserve to feel special, and it's okay to do that for yourself.
Manage your social media time - It is so easy to just endlessly scroll, and that can be incredibly unhealthy in so many ways. I love twitter just as much as the next gal but when it becomes aimless, there are far better uses of your time. It's all about how you use it.
Go outside - In the words of my Grandma, "fresh air does the world of good". And my Grandma is always right.
I hope these little tips and tricks will come in useful and set you in good stead for your own journey of self-care. On my Instagram, I post daily reminders of positivity and love if you want to check that out. Until next time, love yourself.
All My Love
_________________________________________
* Disclaimer: All content on this blog is my own. Paid Advertorials are my own views, opinion and content. Copyright of Deadly Is The Female.